Christmas Carols: Rewritten

Rudolph. It’s just Rudolph.

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say…
Rudolph, with your nose so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
You’ll go down in history

But wait!

(Starting to the tune of “then one foggy Christmas Eve”)#

Don’t you wonder how they had
Such a sudden change of heart…
They shout in glee for the benefit
Of befriending Santa’s favourite

Rudolph, pray, don’t believe it.
They will never be real friends.
Don’t let returning to them
Be the way this story ends.

They called you the red-nosed reindeer,
So tell them that your name’s Rudolph.
What you look like does not define you.
What matters is what you’re made of.

You’re worth more than all their teasing,
You don’t need their silly games.
Show them your flying spirit
And have a Happy Holiday!

All I want for Christmas is…

I-I-I have things I want for Christmas
There is just so much I need.
Yes, I care about the presents,
But they’re not there beneath the tree.

I bet 20 bucks my stocking,
Would be full on Christmas day.
Santa Claus, I’m so not happy,
And now I’m in debt again.

Ignore Mariah, cause she’s wrong
So please stop listening to that song.

Santa, you’re not cool.
So what I’ll do for Christmaaas is suuuue youuuuuu!

Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
That doesn’t have a seatbelt
Isn’t quite that safe.

Is there no windshield?
Cause I can’t feel my face.
Can you see where we’re going now?
Did the horse bite off the reins?!

Oh! Jingle Bells, someone help, we can’t stop this sleigh.
This isn’t fun, and I’m not even legal driving age!
Oh! Jingle bells, where’s my friend, how did he run away?
I should have stayed at home instead of coming here today.

- Amaya Perera